Second Valentine’s Day and birthday in a row that I spent alone and completely miserable. Well, not entirely alone, I was at home with the family, but entirely miserable. One would assume I would have learnt from previous mistakes, but I think I will join the rest of the girls out there who put up with being treated unfairly. Why do I do it? I have no idea. Why do any of us do it? Love? Plans for the future? Promises? For me, I’m clinging on to something I believed was special. I used to call it Our Fairytale. We were so loved up, we talked 24/7, we made so many plans for the future. Our future together. We lived in different countries but we somehow made it work, We were happy. I was happy. But now, we live only a few minutes apart, but things are far from the fairytale relationship we had 5 years ago. Fighting constantly over nothing, competing with each other, jealousy taking it’s toll. The arguing is taking over the relationship. When I think of our relationship the first word that comes to mind is arguing. Why do we argue? I did not text to say good morning, I sat in the front seat of the car instead of the back seat, I won’t change my Facebook status to say “In a relationship”. Scrolling through my Facebook over the last few weekends, I have been tortured by photos and posts of loved-up couples enjoying relationships, spoiling each other for Valentine’s , making someone feel special. I don’t really get in the spirit of Valentine’s Day but I think if you are in a relationship you should at least get a nice card. Just a small token, it would have meant the world to me. Why are we arguing? Is the relationship not working? Am I in the wrong relationship? Am I just afraid to let go of someone and something I loved so much? I still need to find the answers.
Can anyone help?